Marriage Counselling in Melbourne
Around 40–50% of first marriages in Australia end in divorce (Australian Institute of Family Studies), yet in 2024 the divorce rate fell to 2.1 per 1,000 population — the lowest in 50 years. This suggests that while marriages remain under significant pressure, more couples are working harder to sustain them. Research finds that 89% of men and 77% of women enter marriage counselling wanting to stay together. And yet, despite the stakes, only 8% of couples with serious marital problems ever seek professional help. At my practice at 96 Elgin Street, Carlton, I work with married couples at every stage — from early-stage strain to severe crisis — and I work without judgement, whatever the outcome.
When should a couple seek marriage counselling?
Most couples wait far too long. Research suggests the average couple waits six years after problems first emerge before seeking help — by which time significant damage has often been done to trust, communication patterns, and emotional connection. Marriage counselling is most effective when sought early, but it can still be valuable even when a relationship is in serious difficulty.
Couples typically come to my Melbourne practice when they are experiencing one or more of the following:
- Communication breakdown — the same arguments cycling without resolution, or conversations that have become impossible to have
- Infidelity or betrayal — working through the aftermath of an affair or other form of relational breach
- Sexual and intimacy difficulties — loss of desire, emotional distance, or a relationship that has become more like a co-habitation than a marriage
- Trust issues — whether arising from specific events or from a longer pattern of disappointment and unmet expectations
- Life transitions — having children, losing children, bereavement, career change, or other major life events that have placed the relationship under strain
- Growing apart — the quiet erosion of connection that can happen over years without any single dramatic event
What happens in marriage counselling sessions?
Marriage counselling sessions at my Carlton practice are structured around creating conditions for honest conversation. Many couples find it almost impossible to talk productively at home — conversations escalate, old grievances surface, and positions harden. The therapy room provides a different container: a neutral space with a third person present, where the usual rules of engagement can be temporarily suspended.
My approach draws on psychodynamic thinking. This means I am interested not only in what couples are arguing about, but in the underlying dynamics — the relational templates each person brings from their family of origin, the needs they are carrying that are not being met, the ways that old wounds get activated in the present relationship. Understanding this layer often changes everything.
In sessions, the work might involve:
- Developing the capacity to hear each other without immediately defending or counter-attacking
- Identifying the underlying feelings beneath the presenting complaints — often hurt and fear rather than anger
- Understanding how each person’s early experiences are shaping their current relational patterns
- Working through betrayal, grief, or accumulated resentment that is blocking repair
- Making considered decisions about the future of the relationship — whether together or separately
Pre-marital and separation counselling
I also offer pre-marital counselling for couples preparing for marriage. This is not a sign that anything is wrong — it is an investment in the relationship. Pre-marital counselling gives you the opportunity to discuss expectations, values, family patterns, communication styles, finances, parenting, and areas of potential conflict before they become entrenched problems. The research on couples therapy has a 70% success rate across outcomes including improved communication, increased satisfaction, and reduced conflict (Journal of Marital and Family Therapy).
Where a marriage is ending, separation counselling helps both partners navigate the transition with as much clarity and dignity as possible — particularly when children are involved. I work without judgement in these cases, including where separation is the most honest and healthy outcome for everyone concerned.
Sessions are $170 for couples and no referral is required. Book a session or message me on WhatsApp.
Frequently asked questions
What’s the difference between marriage counselling and couples therapy?
The terms are often used interchangeably. “Marriage counselling” tends to emphasise the formal relationship and is commonly used for legally married couples. “Couples therapy” is broader, covering all relationship structures. The work I do with married couples and unmarried couples is essentially the same — tailored to the specific dynamics and circumstances of each relationship.
Does marriage counselling actually work?
Research suggests a 70% success rate for couples therapy across a range of measures including communication, satisfaction, and reduced conflict. Outcomes are better when both partners are genuinely motivated and when help is sought before the relationship has severely deteriorated. That said, even in difficult situations, counselling can help couples make clearer, more grounded decisions — whether that means staying together or separating.
What if only one partner wants to come?
It is possible to do individual therapy to work on relational patterns, even when a partner is unwilling to attend. This often has a significant impact on the relationship nonetheless. If your partner is reluctant, individual sessions can still help you clarify what you want, understand your own part in the dynamic, and consider your options with more clarity.
Is marriage counselling confidential?
Yes. Confidentiality applies to couples sessions in the same way as individual sessions, with the same standard exceptions (risk of harm). In couples work, I operate with both of you jointly as my client. I don’t hold individual secrets from one partner if they are disclosed in a joint session, and I’ll make this explicit at the outset.