Infidelity Counselling in Melbourne
Infidelity in Relationships — Cheating Partners Counselling Melbourne
The act or fact of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than your husband, wife or partner can be the most painful and bond-breaking act that a relationship can go through. The sense of betrayal that comes with the act of infidelity and when it gets found out is sometimes simply too much for the relationship to handle and leaves the betrayed partner with a sense of loss, grief and mistrust that can affect them for years to come.
What are some of the common factors around infidelity?
It is impossible to name all of the factors that can lead either partner to the act of cheating, as each relationship is a unique combination of two people with their own histories that they both bring into the partnership. With that said however, it is possible to name some of the factors that are spoken about in the clinic and what some of the common patterns that research in this field tends to find.
- A lack of emotional intimacy and a feeling of disconnection
- A feeling of instability in the relationship
- A want to feel desired or as a reaffirmation of sexuality
- Marital or relationship unhappiness
- An inability to enjoy sexual relations with one’s partner
- Presented with the opportunity to have sex
- The desire to have sex with other people
Can the relationship be rebuilt again?
For some couples however, although it shatters the sense of trust that is the foundation of their relationship, they can, through the hard and often painful work of talking through all the raw emotions, doubts and uncertainties that this experience has brought to their relationship in the therapeutic setting, slowly rebuild the sense of trust and belonging that was lost and the relationship can begin on the path of slowly being rebuilt.
A consequence of this slow rebuilding process through relationship counselling can bring the relationship to build a new narrative and to incorporate the changed sense of the individual’s and the relationship’s identity that includes the act of infidelity. Instead of the rejection of the act of infidelity in the relationship or denial that it has occurred or the many other ways that couples can be stuck with the hurt and betrayal that it caused, the relationship can be built on a new foundation that takes account of it and can together start to make sense of it and their relationship in a different way that can bring the couple to the level of trust and companionship in once existed.
An important factor to remember is that deciding to go into relationship or marriage counselling sooner rather later after the devastating effects of the infidelity have been brought out can prove to be more helpful to the relationship in the long-term.
Can relationship counselling be helpful to us?
Coming into relationship counselling to speak in-depth about the all the aspects that surround the act of infidelity, how it has affected the relationship and the many aspects of the relationship that lead up to this painful event can be extremely beneficial for each individual and for the relationship as a whole.
Although the outcome may be unknown at the beginning and throughout the therapeutic process about what direction the relationship might take and whether the couple with stay together or choose to separate, the very act of speaking about the problems the relationship faces and exploring together within the therapeutic environment can be a highly useful, productive and healing experience for the relationship.
Cheating Partners Counselling Melbourne
If your relationship has gone through the crisis that infidelity brings, relationship counselling may be the help that is needed.
I am a PACFA Clinical Member with 15+ years of clinical experience. I see clients online via secure video call across Australia and internationally, and in person at 96 Elgin Street, Carlton in inner Melbourne. Book a session to begin.
Frequently asked questions
Can a relationship survive infidelity?
Yes. Many couples rebuild trust and intimacy after infidelity, though it requires time, commitment, and honest engagement from both people. Research suggests 57–75% of couples who work through infidelity in therapy stay together. The process is not about rushing toward forgiveness — it’s about creating conditions where genuine understanding and real decision-making become possible. Some couples emerge stronger; others separate with more clarity and less damage.
Should I come to counselling on my own or with my partner?
Both have value, and the right configuration depends on where you are. In the immediate aftermath of discovery, individual sessions for each partner can be important before couples work begins — each person needs space to process the shock and the immediate emotional impact. Couples work becomes more productive once that initial acute phase has settled. I can work with whatever configuration makes sense for your situation, and we can adjust as we go.
My partner had the affair. Is counselling for me too, or just for them?
Absolutely for you. Betrayal trauma is a recognised and serious psychological response to the discovery of infidelity. The disorientation, intrusive thoughts, loss of trust, and shattered sense of the relationship are real impacts that deserve proper therapeutic attention — not just an expectation that you should “get over it.” Individual therapy for the betrayed partner is often one of the most valuable parts of the recovery process.
What if I’m the one who had the affair?
You are equally welcome to seek support. Understanding what drove the affair — not as a justification, but as a genuine reckoning with what was happening for you — is important for your own clarity, and for whether the relationship can genuinely change. Many people who had affairs are carrying their own distress, confusion, and unmet needs. Therapy provides a non-judgmental space to understand that honestly.
“I can say with confidence that my day-to-day situations have now become easier to handle, with the help provided by Paul.”
Darren C. — Client Testimonial