The act or fact of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than your husband, wife or partner can be the most painful and bond-breaking act that a relationship can go through. The sense of betrayal that comes with the act of infidelity and when it gets found out is sometimes simply too much for the relationship to handle and leaves the betrayed partner with a sense of loss, grief and mistrust that can affect them for years to come.
What are some of the common factors around infidelity?
It is impossible to name all of the factors that can lead either partner to the act of cheating, as each relationship is a unique combination of two people with their own histories that they both bring into the partnership. With that said however, it is possible to name some of the factors that are spoken about in the clinic and what some of the common patterns that research in this field tends to find.
- A lack of emotional intimacy and a feeling of disconnection
- A feeling of instability in the relationship
- A want to feel desired or as a reaffirmation of sexuality
- Martial or Relationship unhappiness
- An inability to enjoy sexual relations with one’s partner
- Presented with the opportunity to have sex
- The desire to have sex with other people
Can the relationship be rebuilt again?
For some couples however, although it shatters the sense of trust that is the foundation of their relationship, they can, through the hard and often painful work of talking through all the raw emotions, doubts and uncertainties that this experience has brought to their relationship in the therapeutic setting, slowly rebuild the sense of trust and belonging that was lost and the relationship can begin on the path of slowly being rebuilt.
A consequence of this slow rebuilding process through relationship counselling can bring the relationship to build a new narrative and to incorporate the changed sense of the individual’s and the relationships identity that includes the act of infidelity. Instead of the rejection of the act of infidelity in the relationship or denial that it has occurred or the many other ways that couples can be stuck with the hurt and betrayal that it caused, the relationship can be built on a new foundation that takes account of it and can together start to make sense of it and their relationship in a different way that can bring the couple to the level of trust and companionship in once existed.
An important factor to remember is that deciding to go into relationship or marriage counselling sooner rather later after the devastating effects of the infidelity have been brought out can prove to be more helpful to the relationship in the long-term.
Can relationship counselling be helpful to us?
Coming into relationship counselling to speak in-depth about the all the aspects that surround the act of infidelity, how it has affected the relationship and the many aspects of the relationship that lead up to this painful event can be extremely beneficial for each individual and for the relationship as a whole.
Although the outcome may be unknown at the beginning and throughout the therapeutic process about what direction the relationship might take and whether the couple with stay together or choose to separate, the very act of speaking about the problems the relationship faces and exploring together within the therapeutic environment can be a highly useful, productive and healing experience for the relationship.
Cheating Partners Counselling Melbourne
If your relationship has gone through the crisis that infidelity brings, relationship counselling maybe the help that is needed. Please call Paul Reid on 0420496599 to book in an appointment or ask any questions you may have regarding relationship counselling.
Paul Reid – Counselling & Psychotherapy